One of the most difficult things for divorcing parents to do is to determine what’s going to happen with the children. This is one of the biggest decisions they have to make. Taking the time to ensure they’re doing what’s best for the kids is critical. There are several things they can do to ensure this happens.
The best interests of the children must remain at the heart of every decision the parents make. Neither parent should make choices or suggestions based on things like what will be easiest for them or more difficult for the other parent. While negotiations with your ex are in progress, here are some good tips to follow:
Remember: The past doesn’t matter
Unless one parent was abusing the children or is a danger to the kids, the past shouldn’t play a role in the child custody decisions. Instead, look at what the children need now. This puts you in a position to truly do what’s best for them. It might help you to remember that even a person who was an awful spouse can be a terrific parent.
Watch what you say
Even if you and your ex don’t get along, you still share at least one child. Avoid the temptation of badmouthing your ex, especially around the children. No child should ever feel as though they have to choose sides. Additionally, you and your ex should discuss things with each other. Never ask the children to relay messages. The kids might relay incorrect information and may be unfairly put in the middle of difficult matters.
Set the parenting plan in writing
As you and your ex compromise on the matters that are in the parenting plan, you need to get the decisions put in writing. The parenting plan is the road map for how you and your ex will work as a parenting team. Your attorney can help you to get this set in the appropriate manner.