Divorce is often a series of pitched battles between spouses where each individual tries to hurt the other or at least win in different aspects of the divorce. Conflict is often seen as inevitable, but the emotional reactions are what lead to all the fighting and complications.
If you argue over every little detail and let your feelings run the show, your divorce will take a lot of time, cause a lot of stress and probably cost both you and your ex a lot of money. Reducing how much conflict you have can go a long way toward keeping the cost of your divorce lower and making it easier for you to move on.
As a bonus, if you have children, low-conflict divorces can reduce how hard the divorce is on them. What are some ways of limiting how much conflict you and your ex have in the divorce?
Commit to alternative dispute resolution or collaborative divorce
Perhaps you are both ready to move on and only need to figure out how to split up your property and parenting time. You and your individual attorneys may be able to handle everything outside of court in a collaborative divorce. You just set the terms and then file an uncontested divorce.
If there is some conflict limiting your negotiations or cooperation, alternative dispute resolution can help solve those problems outside of the courtroom. Either mediation or arbitration can help you and your ex figure out ways to compromise that solve everything for your family. In both of these approaches, having your own lawyer serves as an important protection against letting your emotions run the show.
Find a healthy way to process your feelings
Divorce can be an emotionally devastating experience. Even if the only reason you choose to divorce is growing apart from your ex, it can take a long time to grieve the relationship and the life you once dreamed of having. Therapy, art, going back to school and even support groups can be healthy ways to process your feelings.
Instead of lashing out at your ex or seeking some sort of justice in the courtroom, you can learn how to handle your own feelings outside of the courtroom and focus on your long-term goals so that the divorce itself is painless and possibly more affordable.
